Talk:Dundrum-class dreadnought
Please, please note that this is still a work In progress so some things may or may not change depending on what makes scence. But leave a comment if you want and if you do can you point out any spelling mistakes please, thank you. Note: the ship is named after the historic Dundrum castle in Northern Ireland. (MrFerret23 (talk) 22:33, September 19, 2018 (UTC)MrFerret23MrFerret23 (talk) 22:33, September 19, 2018 (UTC)) Well, you asked for feedback, so may as well give it: #When you're putting a quote in an article, I'd recommend you use the Quote template since it will look more professional. At the moment, your attempts at replicating it at a bit messy. #"Super-Dreadnoughts" were an informal name given to extremely-large battleships during WWI, and aren't really a real classification in most sci-fi universes including Halo. While I don't know how big it is, its relatively-low crew count makes me think the Dundrum-class would be too small to be a dreadnought at all. In light of this, I'd change it to a regular battleship. ##Given that you describe this ship as being so fragile, you might want to consider making it a battlecruiser instead. #I would recommend against the 'scrap-ship' angle, as the UNSC is a professional military much like many of today's military forces. This means they have standards which stops them from accepting junk vessels which would only lead to a loss of lives, so they'd need to meet some minimum checkboxes to stop them from breaking apart when under fire, especially when fighting against a superior foe such as the Covenant. ##If you want to mention that the lead ship had some issues during its space trials, that's fine. But you need to make it clear that these were rectified in succeeding Dundrum-classes, and if you want the Dundrum herself to enter service, then these issues would also need to be fixed on it. #What are 'longsword 91-002' fighters? Don't you mean GA-TL1 longswords? #Regarding armament, I'd recommend dropping the super MAC - the Punic-class supercarrier was the smallest ship to be mount with one of these, but without some numbers on how big this is... I can't really really recommend this. In addition, the UNSC Infinity was the first UNSC warship to mount four MACs - no other ship that served before had this many. "Heavy triple barrel cannons" sounds suspiciously like , so I'd use them instead. Again, without a hard number on its length you'll need to cut it down to ten (even the Epoch only has two, so I've already given you a significant leeway). ##NOVA bombs were still in prototype stage by 2552 and have never been stated to have left it, so I'd get rid of that mention. Replace them with nuclear missiles if you must. #For comparison, the UNSC Pillar of Autumn has got at least 2,200 personnel when combining both their naval and ground complements, so that would put this squarely in the cruiser category. If you want to make this a battleship, I'd increase the crew count dramatically. #Minor nitpick, but 'Brigadier' (actually Brigadier General) is not an officer rank in the UNSC Navy, so I'm not sure why someone outside of the Navy is concerned with the adoption of a new battleship. The equivalent Navy rank would be Rear Admiral Lower Half. If you want to check out other UNSC ranks, we've got a page here. That's about it. I know this is a lot of stuff to take aboard, but I thought I'd at least tell you everything that I saw at this time. What I think you should do first is add a length so we know exactly how big this thing is, and get rid of most of those naval coilguns, excess MACs, and that NOVA bomb since they are the biggest contradictions of canon. If you want more help in trying to solve these issues, I'd recommend you get onto our Discord so we can talk about the article in real-time there :) I have noted all of the things that both of you have said and I will act apon this quickly but with care to canon even if the canon can get a little ... questionable e.g. a lich in the halo arcade game Fire team Raven which is based on halo CE. I would also like to say that the excess MACs are staying, but they would be installed after the creation of the UNSC Infinity, when both the Dundrum and the Carrickfergus are completed. I now know that a brigadier general is not a navy rank... but it is a marine rank and form other articles I have done, it dose say McClain works for ONI. So you could put it down to that his superiors ordered him to over see the construction of the ship. 1: The Type 66 Warpath is a five barrelled heavy canon which was created after the human, covenant war and where specifically made for the dreadnoughts. If this weapon’s name is already taken please let me know. 2: The infernos bomb is a prototype weapon given to both of this class. They are designed to disable a covenant capital ship with a single blow. This happens because... A: it can track a target. And... B: when it gets past the shields it go’s into a hanger bay and activates with a powerful emp that can recharge quickly. This can cripple any ship and leave them vulnerable to any attack. Fun fact I was intending on making this ship twice the size of the Infinity but changed it due to canon errors that would come out of it. Please let me know if there are any problems and I will see to it that they are sorted. (MrFerret23 (talk) 15:18, September 26, 2018 (UTC)MrFerret23MrFerret23 (talk) 15:18, September 26, 2018 (UTC))